Just thinking of what you’ve done with other girls annoys me. Just thinking of it. I know how you act and I know how you get into it. So thinking of you doing that with other girls annoys me and upsets me.

I have to many things about my appearance. I hate how my teeth are crooked, I want to smile, I want to be able to speak without people looking at my teeth and seeing beat up teeth. I also have done almost everything to make them white, different toothpastes, baking soda, everything. Nothing works. I’ve stopped drinking pop, coffee, anything with that acid that colours the teeth, to make them yellow. It just won’t go away, it’s embarrassing. Because I know I brush my teeth every day. Every single day. 3 times a day, and it just will NOT go away, but I want it to. It’s just, upsetting. 

Then my birthmark, I hate it so much. I’m glad I’m getting rid of it, it would be so much easier if I didn’t have it. People stare at me because I have it. Though most people I know say it makes me who I am, it makes me different. It makes me look unique. But I don’t care about that. I don’t like standing out. I don’t like the attention. Especially if it’s negative attention. I don’t even like good attention, so if it’s negative it’s even worse for me. 

I hate my tummy, I hate how it looks. When I’m bloated, it’s even worse. I want to make it flat, but it takes so much effort, it’s hard to get things the way you want, and keeping them the way you want them to be. It’s annoying how it works. But hard work always pays off in the end.

I hate my chest, it’s small. Like getting this said to me is just disturbing. “Hey you’ve got a nice ass, but small chest” Ugh like k thanks I knew that already, don’t have to tell me. I hate being small, it’s like unfair. I know I won’t get any bigger anyway.  Seeing all these girls with their chests and how they’re bigger is just annoying too. Like why can’t things just start at size b, at least they’re big enough. 

I HATE my height. Nothing is really good about being under 5’5. If you try to wear a dress, you look like a little kid in a grown up dress.  It makes your legs look shorter, AND if you don’t have boobs, it really makes you look like a little kid. It’s so annoying. I wish I was taller, I really do. At least 2 or 3 more inches taller, it would make so much of a difference.

 I really don’t like my hair colour. I get noticed so easily. I hate red hair on me, it may be nice to some people. I just don’t like standing out. Red/orange, doesn’t go with many colours of clothing, so it’s hard to even buy clothes, especially if they don’t go with that colour. It’s upsetting.

Knowing you can hardly trust me hurts.

You should know that I love you with all my heart. You are my one and only. 
It makes me feel so amazing that you want to live with me, have a baby with me.
I feel just so loved. I love you so much. I wish it was summer now, that you would be on your own. And I could be there with you and only you on the weekends. I hope that you know you’re the only one I love, the only one I care for the most. You are my baby, my other half. I truly feel that. And I hope to god that you feel that too. <3

I feel like I’ve done something wrong. I can’t shake the feeling you’re ignoring me. I know you aren’t I just know it. But you’re probably just watching your Digimon laying in bed. I don’t know. I’m scared, but I know I’ve done nothing at all. I’ve waited to talk to you all day, and when I tried to call, you didn’t answer. idk. I hope you aren’t ignoring me.
I love you so so so  much. 

Sometimes when I’m upset, my arm starts to tingle where I have cuts. It feels itchy too.. It’s weird.

I feel so ordinary. Just regular. People around me are so special, so unique, different. They have special things about themselves.
It doesn’t help my self esteem, I see these girls. That you’re friends with, their so pretty. And your friends, female friends. They are so pretty. I’m just here with my ugly face and fucked up teeth like lawl hey.

No matter what. I’m always going to feel this way about myself until I like how I look, and that won’t be for a long time. I wish I liked how I looked, and that I didn’t care. But I care..

When you like those other girls photos, it feels weird. Like, their all so much more prettier than me, in more ways than one. Perfect teeth, bodies. Their more so the kind of girl you’d go for. Not like me. And in the beginning you said you never go for girls like me cause we’re sometimes stuck up and bitches. :/
I don’t know man.

First thing’s first; I have no idea how to be flirty, flirtatious, attractive to the opposite sex, how to attract them and such. I usually repel guys away from me. So I have no idea when I’m flirting. When I’m being told that me pushing back a guy that pushed me is flirting then fuck. That happens to me a lot. Like a lot.  Then throwing fries at someone who was throwing them at me is flirting, then fuck I flirt with girls too!! O.O 
I don’t get how that’s flirting.
If I flirt with someone, it wouldn’t be with a kid I feel that is like a brother to me. You and him do the same things, he does it to you and you do it back. What’s with that? Flirting with your brother? No. That’s obviously not the case.
With your friend, I don’t get how that was flirting. Throwing fries at him and him throwing them back was like what I do with Melynda almost every time we go eat Mc Donalds together. I don’t get that at all.